Heart by Heart
by BigTimeRush-BTR
Summary: As he laid by Kendall's side, there was no doubt in his heart or in his mind that they would always have each other, no matter in what direction life decided to take them. - Kogan slash. Kendall angst.


**Just a little one-shot dedicated to my amazing girlfriend, Ajay (BTRElevate24seven). :) Thank you for always being there for me. I love you. 3**

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The tears slid rapidly down his cheeks, wetting the pavement below him, mixing in with the pouring rain that fell from the grey clouds that filled the sky. Thunder boomed in the distance, startling the blond, and making him wish he was in his boyfriend's arms. He hated thunderstorms with a passion; hated the loud noise, the darkened sky, and the sadness that seemed to fill the environment. He hated feeling so vulnerable and alone; feeling so much like nothing; feeling useless and abandoned. He just wanted Logan. Logan could always make him smile, even when he felt like there was no longer a reason to smile. Even when he was feeling at his worst, Logan could bring out the happiness buried deep within him.

A sob slipped from his lips, shattering the rain's pitter-patter. He hugged his knees close to his body and leaned his head forward, laying it on top of them. His golden bangs, dampened from the rain, fell over his eyes, blinding him from the cold world around him. He was so tired, cold and hungry, not to mention the fact that he was soaking wet. His t-shirt and jacket clung to his body from how wet they were. He was wet from head to toe. Even his sneakers and socks were wet. He knew he shouldn't have been out in the rain all by himself, in the midst of a raging thunderstorm that seemed to stop at nothing. And to make it even worse, he was in a part of the city where almost nobody lived; a side of Los Angeles that was dreaded by many. It was dangerous, so why was he here?

Gustavo was the reason he was here. Most of the time, Kendall could deal with the producer's harsh comments, his angry remarks, and his loud yelling, but today just wasn't his day. He had awakened feeling upset. For what reason? He still had no idea, but he had been in no state to deal with Gustavo. He had been in no mood to hear about how much of a useless, pathetic singer he was, or about how his vocals on the new song they were recording sounded off-key. He didn't want to hear him shout right in his face about how he looked like a limp noodle when he was practicing his dance steps. And he was definitely not in the mood to watch him as he yelled at Logan for having no talent whatsoever when it came to dancing.

The blond sighed. It had probably not been a good idea to run out of Rocque Records like that, with no indication of where he was going. He didn't even know where he was going; he just ran until his legs gave out. James, Carlos and Logan were probably worried sick about him.

But then, why hadn't they followed him?

"Kendall?" As if on cue, just as the thought occurred to Kendall, he heard a familiar voice. He closed his eyes, didn't turn around, just sat there quietly. He didn't even answer. He heard the footsteps and then felt a hand on his shoulder. "It is you. What are you doing out here in the rain? You're going to catch a cold... Or even worse, pneumonia."

The blond sighed as that someone took a seat beside him. He didn't have to look to know that it was Logan. He looked at Logan through the corner of his eye. The brunette's hair was no longer gelled up as usual. The heavy rain had made it so that it was all over his forehead, just not as long as Kendall's.

"We need to get you out of this rain," Logan mumbled. He had brought James' jacket along with him, knowing he might need it. Without a word, he helped Kendall into it and zipped it up for him. The younger boy looked at him through teary eyes, frown on his face. Logan frowned too as he helped Kendall to his feet. He pulled the jacket's hoodie over Kendall's head and wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling him closer to him. "Come on," he whispered, pushing him forward. The blond's body shook uncontrollably from the cold. He struggled to step forward; his knees threatening to give out from under him and knock him over.

"I'm cold..." Kendall muttered. Logan looked at him for a second, shaking his head. They walked in silence. "Wait," Kendall stopped in mid-step, "how did you know where to find me?" he questioned confusedly.

"Followed you from a safe distance. You think I would let you wonder off all by yourself while it's raining?" the brunette responded. "It wasn't so smart of you to come here, though. You know it's not safe."

"I didn't realize where I was going until I stopped. I'm sorry..."

Logan stopped, pulling Kendall along with him under a tree. Smiling sadly, he pushed Kendall's wet bangs back and leaned forward, his lips lightly pressing against the boy's forehead. "It's okay, just please don't do it again." Kendall nodded, the smallest of smiles forming his lips a bit upward.

"I won't," he said. Without warning, he wrapped his arms around Logan's neck, burying his face against the older boy's shoulder. "It just really hurt."

Logan breathed in, his arms moving to wrap around Kendall's torso. He rubbed circles on his back, trying his best to comfort him. "I know it hurt. I'm sorry, baby."

"It's not your fault," Kendall answered. Logan nodded, feeling the need to say something, but deciding against it. He wrapped an arm around Kendall once more and pulled him along. The cold and bitter wind hit them hard in the face, bringing along with it the rain. The boys hurried along, not wanting to be there for long. They tried their best to avoid the puddles, which were pretty much everywhere, not like it would do much use anyway, considering how wet their clothes already were.

They had not walked for long before Logan took his phone out and dialed James' number. He quickly gave him the address of where they were and then slid his phone back into his jeans' pocket. "James and Carlos are gonna pick us up."

"Okay," Kendall said quietly.

In about fifteen minutes, the BTR Mobile came to a halt in front of them. Logan quickly ushered Kendall inside and then slid inside himself. James, who was driving, and Carlos, who was in the passenger's seat, stared at them worriedly. Not saying anything, James started driving. The car ride was silent. Seeking warmth, Kendall curled up against Logan's body, even though he was just as cold and wet as he was. Logan just stared at him with worry clear in his brown eyes.

"What were you both thinking? You're going to get sick." James sighed, turning around for just a second to look at them. "It's pouring out. You'd think you guys would know better."

"James-"

"And in the most dangerous part of the city. Very smart."

"James, stop it," Carlos said sternly. "Just be thankful they're okay." The brunette sighed and nodded, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. The rest of the ride was quiet. It wasn't very long before they were at the Palm Woods.

Once at the Palm Woods, the four boys got out of the car and took the elevator to the second floor. Unlike outside, inside it was very warm. Bitters yelled at them as they walked in through the lobby, their clothes dripping water onto the carpet. They simply ignored him, none of them being in the mood to deal with him. When the elevator stopped at the second floor, they made their way to Apartment 2J.

"Well, get ready to be fussed over, you two," Carlos said, trying to lighten the mood. Logan and Kendall just stared at him. It wasn't until they walked inside the apartment and Mrs. Knight started to worry over them that they knew what the Latino had meant.

"I'm fine, Mom," Kendall said as Mrs. Knight attempted to lay a hand on his forehead. "I'm just gonna take a shower and change," he mumbled, walking away from his mother. She nodded, allowing Kendall to walk to his room. Logan followed close behind him. The blond gathered up his clothes and left the room. Logan waited for him to get out of the bathroom. Once he did, Kendall was dressed in a lose t-shirt and sweatpants. He brushed right past him and showered as well.

When Logan got back to his bedroom, he found Kendall lying on his own bed, face buried into his pillow. "Hey, you alright?" he asked, taking a seat on the edge. Looking up, Kendall met his eyes and shook his head from side to side. "Need to talk?" A nod. "So what's the matter?"

"I'm useless," Kendall murmured, his eyes filling up with tears. "I can't dance, I can't sing. I mean... you-you heard what Gustavo said." At Kendall's words, Logan felt like punching the producer square in the jaw. He didn't like seeing Kendall hurt, especially when it was caused by a person.

Logan laid down, facing Kendall. Frowning, he brushed away the tears that had managed to slip from Kendall's eyes. "You are not useless, Kendall. You shouldn't listen to everything Gustavo says."

"But... But what if he's right?"

"I can assure you he is not right."

Kendall sighed. "There are times when I feel really useless," he admitted, his voice not going above a whisper.

Logan frowned. "You're not, you're really not, and I mean it. I don't know why you would think that, but know that it isn't true," he said softly, his chocolate brown eyes staring into Kendall's teary emerald ones. Kendall stared back at him before tearing his eyes away from Logan's and getting closer to him as he buried his face against the crook of the brunette's neck.

"You're hot..."

"Gee, thanks, Logie."

Logan raised an eyebrow, not the least amused. He pushed Kendall back a bit and pressed the back of his hand to the younger boy's forehead. He frowned, feeling the warmth that radiated from his skin. "I meant you're hot, as in you have a fever," he said, worry now in his voice.

Kendall pouted. "Don't worry about it, Logie. I'll be fine," he said, trying to push Logan's hand away. He turned away from the brunette and laid down on his other side. Sighing, Logan wrapped an arm around him from behind, pulling him close.

"I'm not gonna stop worrying simply because you tell me to stop," he said, his warm breath tickling the shell of Kendall's ear. "It's what I do. It can't be stopped. I'll always worry, because I care about you, and..." The brunette trailed off and closed his eyes.

"And what?" Kendall questioned, turning ever so slightly in Logan's hold.

Logan sighed and opened his eyes. "And because I love you," he whispered, just loud enough for Kendall to hear. The blond's breath seemed to get trapped in his lungs, his heart fluttering wildly in his chest. It wasn't like Logan and Kendall had never spoken those words to each other before, because they had. But hearing those three little words made Kendall feel better. It made him feel wanted, needed, and of course, loved.

"I love you too," he whispered back, smiling goofily at the shorter boy. Logan smiled, cupping Kendall's chin with his fingers and leaning forward to press his lips to the blond's. As they pulled apart, Logan opened his eyes, surprised to see tear tracks running down Kendall's face. He opened his mouth to ask him what it was that had made him cry, but Kendall simply shook his head and hugged Logan tight.

"Baby, what's wrong?" he wondered worriedly. Kendall shook his head, tears still falling freely.

"I... I remember thinking - before we got together - that no one would ever love me. I remember thinking I'd never be good enough to deserve anyone's l-love. Then... Then I realized that I loved you, and I thought you would never love me back. I thought that if I told you how I really felt, you would stop talking to me for good... But you didn't."

"Why would I do that?" Logan questioned, tears threatening to fall as well from his eyes.

Kendall looked up then, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "I don't know. It was just fear, I guess," he said quietly.

"I know the feeling, Kendall, because I felt like that for a long time as well. But I need you to know that I do love you. I need you to know that you are the only person I love, and the only person I will ever love. No one compares to you. No one could ever make me as happy as you do. No one could ever light up my life the way you do. You're one in a million, Kendall. I could never ever replace you. You make me happy. You make me feel complete. Even in my darkest days, you're the light that gives me hope. You give me courage and strength. You're my everything, and I promise you, no matter what hell we go through, I will always be by your side, whether we are miles apart or right next to each other. And we may have our ups and downs, but we'll work through them, together, as a team."

"I..." Kendall blinked, being left speechless by Logan's words. "I don't know what to say," he admitted.

Logan smiled. "You don't have to say anything, just know that it's true, and know that I love you more than anything in this world."

"I know you do," Kendall said, smiling. "I love you."

"I love you too," Logan said, returning the smile. "Now that that's settled, I better take your temperature." Kendall frowned at this, but didn't budge. He knew there was no arguing with Logan when he was in "doctor mode".

As the brunette went to retrieve the thermometer, the blond settled on the bed. Once Logan came back, he put the thermometer in Kendall's mouth and waited for it to indicate the boy's fever. "A hundred, point two," he read aloud, a frown forming on his lips. "It's not too high, but it's still high," he mumbled. He grabbed the bottle of fever reducers he had brought along with him and handed two to Kendall. "Wait here, I'm gonna get you a glass of water." Kendall nodded feebly as he watched Logan leave once more,

The older boy returned only a minute or so later with the glass of water. Kendall then swallowed the pills and laid back down, closing his eyes. Smiling sadly, Logan laid down right next to him and wrapped his arms around him as Kendall snuggled up into his warmth, burying his face against the brunette's neck. "Just go to sleep, Kenny. I'll still be here when you wake up," he assured the sick boy. Kendall smiled, not saying a word, and allowed sleep to take him over in Logan's arms.

It was two hours later when Kendall woke up. He squirmed uncomfortably, feeling hot all of a sudden. As promised, Logan was still by his side, only he was no longer awake. Kendall smiled as he leaned over and planted a kiss on the brunette's cheek. Logan's eyes fluttered open at the action, a small smile on his face.

"Hey there, sleepyhead," the younger boy whispered. Logan chuckled.

"Hey. How are you feeling?" he asked.

The smile on Kendall's lips disappeared. "Honestly? I feel like crap," he muttered. Logan frowned. He hated seeing Kendall sick. "And nauseous..." the blond added.

"That's not good... You should try and eat something. Maybe that will help settle your stomach," the brunette suggested as he started to sit up. Kendall reached to pull him back, but he managed to grab nothing but thin air. "I'm going to make you some toast. I'll be right back, okay?"

"Okay," Kendall mumbled, pout forming on his face. Frowning slightly, Logan tucked the covers around the younger boy's shoulders and kissed his forehead. He then walked out of the room, leaving Kendall by himself once more. The blond yawned sleepily, his green eyes moving to the alarm clock situated on the nightstand between his and Logan's beds. The clock read 7:42 PM in big, green letters. He groaned. He just wanted the day to be over already.

Sitting up slightly on the bed, he noticed that his head felt heavy and thick. He blinked back the dizziness that took him over and slowly swung his legs off the edge of the bed. He managed to get to his feet before the dizziness returned. He couldn't help but think that it probably wasn't a good idea to be standing up when he felt so weak and vulnerable, but by that time, he didn't care. The nauseating feeling was only getting worse.

"Kendall!" Just as the boy's knees were about to give out, he felt two arms wrap tightly around his torso, keeping him upright. He groaned, the movement being too much for him to handle. "Kendall, are you alright?" It was Logan. Kendall shook his head and grabbed for the bucket that Logan was holding onto with one hand. Logan watched him with pity and rubbed gentle circles on the blond's back as he gagged into the bucket. But of course, there was nothing for him to throw up since he hadn't eaten all day.

"I don't feel good, Logie," the sick boy croaked out, setting the bucket on the floor and looking up at Logan with teary and tired green eyes. Whimpering, he laid his head on Logan's shoulder and closed his eyes. Staying out in the cold and in the rain had done him nothing but harm. But really, he had felt awful since he had woken up that morning, so being out in the bad weather had probably only worsened his sickness.

"I know you don't, but it'll be okay," the older teen whispered as he wrapped an arm around Kendall's waist. "I know you most likely don't feel up for it, but you really should eat something. The toast is getting cold, and I doubt you'll want it once it's cold."

"I don't want it, even if it's warm," Kendall muttered. Logan sighed. He grabbed the tray he had brought along and let Kendall grab a slice of toast.

"If you want to get better, you need to eat. Not eating will only make you feel worse. At least eat that slice, alright?" Kendall nodded as he nibbled on the slice of toast. The brunette handed him the glass of orange juice he had brought him and waited for Kendall to finish eating before setting it on the nightstand again.

"Thank you," Kendall whispered once he was done, a small smile forming on his lips.

Logan smiled. "No need to thank me. I just want you to feel better. I hate seeing you sick."

"I know."

The blond laid back down, barely being able to keep his eyes open. He curled up on his side, pulling the blanket close to his body and snuggling his face against it. Logan sat down behind him and absentmindedly ran his hand through Kendall's golden locks of hair. Not too long after, he laid down as well.

"Get some sleep, baby," he whispered in Kendall's ear as he pulled him close and rested his head beside the blond's. By then, Kendall was already knocked out cold. Not wanting to leave him by himself, Logan didn't budge.

"Hey Logan." A light knock on the bedroom door made the tired teen turn around. James was standing in the doorway, a game controller in his hand. "Carlos and I were wondering if you wanted to play a game." Logan shook his head at the offer.

"Nah. I don't wanna leave Kendall. Besides, I'm pretty tired. Think I'll stay in here for the rest of the night."

James nodded understandingly. "Alright. Is he okay?" he asked, his hazel eyes focusing on Kendall's sleeping form.

"He will be. He just needs rest," the brunette whispered so that he wouldn't disrupt the sleeping teen.

"James, is Logan coming or not?!"

"Carlos, shut up!"

Logan cracked a smile at hearing Carlos shout at James from somewhere in the living room. James sent him an apologetic smile. "I'll keep him quiet... Hopefully it won't be too hard," he said, smiling and walking away from Logan's view. Sighing and rolling his eyes, Logan snuggled back against the bed.

"You really think that'll happen?" Logan had to hold back a yelp at hearing Kendall speak. He had thought he was asleep the entire time.

"You scared me!" he hissed. Kendall smirked, turning around to face his boyfriend.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "But we all know Carlos wouldn't stay quiet for a whole night, even if you convinced him you'd buy him a giant talking robot if he did."

"I know," Logan said with a laugh. "But hey, one can try."

Kendall nodded. "And fail miserably," he noted.

Logan chuckled at Kendall's sassiness. "Mhm. By the way, shouldn't you be, oh, I don't know... asleep?"

"Sarcastic, aren't we?" Kendall smiled slightly. "Yes, mother, I'll go back to sleep. Just stop being such a sarcastic goofball."

"I will once you stop being a sassy teenager," Logan retorted. Kendall pouted. Logan laughed, wanting more than anything to kiss his pout away. "Aww, baby, you know I love you," he whispered.

Kendall blushed, trying his best to hide the goofy smile that formed on his face. "Even if I'm sassy from time to time and push your buttons to their limit?"

Logan chuckled. "Even then."

"Don't I feel special?" The blond stuck his tongue out playfully, making Logan laugh.

"Go back to sleep, silly," the brunette said, planting a kiss on top of Kendall's head. Kendall pouted but snuggled up close to Logan's body, resting his head near Logan's chest. He closed his eyes and wrapped an arm loosely around Logan's torso. Logan hugged him tightly, letting his chin rest atop of Kendall's head. It wasn't long before the other boy's breaths evened out, indicating that he was fast asleep.

He smiled, knowing deep down that Kendall was the only boy he would ever come to love so deeply. There was something special about him; something even he couldn't point out, but he knew it was there. He just knew that he loved Kendall with all his heart, and that without him he felt incomplete.

No matter where life decided to take them, no matter what obstacle decided to cross their path, he knew that he'd have Kendall by his side. They had each other as support and to lean on when things got tough, whether it was as boyfriends or best friends, he knew that that would never change, because their love was untouchable, and no one and nothing would ever break them apart.

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**How was it? This actually turned out to be my longest one-shot ever. Haha. Thanks for reading!**

**~ BigTimeRush-BTR :)**


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